Hexagon 2005
Songs Written and Submitted by Walter Gilbert

Gender Envy (Men and Women)

Lyrics by Walter Gilbert

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Gender Envy — Orchestra


Verse 1:
[Men:] I'm a man, a simple man,
  And girls are jealous 'cause I can do what I can.
On the job, it's true that they
  Work as hard but I'm the one with more pay.

Verse 2:
Giving birth, I'll never do,
  And being thoughtful earns me extra credit, too;
I can belch, and open jars,
  And mechanics tell the truth about my cars.

Chorus 1:
[Women:] Oh, it makes me shriek,
  That you need only one suitcase for a week.
Wrinkles on your skin,
  Just look distinguished and so masculine.

Verse 3
[Men:] Pairs of shoes, I have but three,
  One wallet and a pocket knife, enough for me;
[Women:] Choc'late bars are just your snack,
  But to us they are an aphordisiac.

Chorus 2:
[Women:] You just wear your clothes,
  No falling straps and no runs in your hose;
You can go shirt-free,
  And if you need to, you pee behind a tree.

Verse 4
[Men:] Wedding plans get made somehow,
  I just show up in rented tux and take a vow;
I wear shorts where're I please,
  Even if I have bow legs and knobby knees.

Chorus 3:
[Men:] We can hit one store,
  And buy our gifts on December 24;
And, we do not burn,
  If we don't get a nice gift in return.

Verse 5
[Women:] You are men, you make demands,
  But without us you'd all have very calloused hands;
There is one – thing you ain't got:
  Feast your eyes, you guys, 'cause this baby's hot.

[Kick-tempo music]
[Men:] Wow, you are women,
  There's no doubt you're women
You have our heads swimmin'
  It's clear, thru and thru,

You're women,
  All elegance, beauty, glamor and glitz;
And we love standing here,
  Contemplating your – your benefits.

Ladies, spectacular ladies,
  We'll fix your car, ladies,
  Open a jar, too.

Oo, we're humble,
  And tho we might stumble,
  Dear ladies, we tumble for you.

[Dance sequence]



© 2004 Walter Gilbert -- E-mail me.